I Love Tekken 8 (Lewds)
By WakeUpSnooze • 3 weeks ago

Anytime we talk about my top genres of video game, I have to bring fighting games into the discussion. I was introduced to them in 2016 by a bestie and I’ve never looked back. Naturally I’ll give any fighting game a shot so when Tekken 8 released and that same dude invited me over to try it out, I couldn’t resist. And by god did I have fun with the experience. Azucena is piping hot (just like my coffee) and I love the way she moves in combat. Seeing everyone’s unique designs and the hype shit that Tekken 8 offers like slow motion round finishers reminded me why so many people pick up this game. Plus with new additions like Reina, the sexy fanart and animations for this game are about to go crazy. However, while playing it I never understood one thing: how the fuck does anyone play this competitively?

Make no mistake, I’m not saying the game is unfun, unbalanced, or designed poorly. I simply do not comprehend how you could get good at this. Coming from being diamond ranked in Street Fighter 6 I figured I could at least understand the basics. Nah, I baited myself. Every character has some ridiculous number of moves. According to a Tekken 8 Reina guide I found online, the bitch alone has 134 moves. What the fuck? My boy Dee Jay has like maybe 20, and half of them are merely similar versions of the same move. In fighting  games it’s important to learn your opponent and adapt to their character and playstyle. Dog I can’t even adapt to my own damn character in Tekken. Just moving the stick slightly one way can change what move comes out. Hell FLICKING the damn stick is needed to unleash some attacks. Not to mention there’s still the entire movement system to learn which is more in depth than a traditional 2D fighter. Combo all this with advanced techniques like the infamous Korean backdash and I’m forced to tap out. 

What a winner design. I see everyone maining this girl.

Rather than being seen as complaining, I want this article to offer up my honest respect to anyone who plays Tekken and works at it to improve. It’s simply too much for my brain. I enjoyed my time demoing it with a friend but my $70 will be saved right here in my pocket. And the time I would have spent training shall be spent hunting down some fantastic sexual animations to showcase. Have you played any of the prior games? Are you playing Tekken 8? Do you love the game or love the lewds it creates more? Sidestep your opponent’s offense, use special move #49 to mix them up, and become an online warrior in the comments below!